I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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