i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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