my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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