dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
