Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
