she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
