awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
farters have to be the big spoon...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
