I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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