so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
