That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
