Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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