Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
