remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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