The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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