ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
