i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
