its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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