I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
