it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
