Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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