There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
