MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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