You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
