I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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