Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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