she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
