would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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