So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
