New invention idea: vibrating tampons
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
