she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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