So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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