Jerry, you need to find god
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize