I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
