He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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