you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
