I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
