Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize