She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
