So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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