So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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