i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
