Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
