you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
