Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
