she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
