i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
