I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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