I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
