I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
