I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
