If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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