I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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