and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
