Its about making memories worth repressing
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
