i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Swine flu. Run for my life!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
