She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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